The Hell of Health & Fitness

   The agony and ecstasy.   The thrill of victory.  The agony of defeat.   I remember the old ABC "Wide World of Sports" intro (do you?) where the skier would come down the slopes and then wipe out, looking like they've broken every bone in their miserable body.   Well, sometimes that's how I feel when I get out of bed in the morning. (!)

   That's the "hell" of Health of Fitness.  I want it.  I need it.  But I don't crave it.  I don't dedicate myself to it.  I don't really want it badly enough.  What I do want is that double hamburger, or that tray of french fries, or that piece of chocolate cake.  Wow!  That's the ecstasy.  Aaah!

   But the feeling I've been having lately has not been ecstatic, it has not been anything close to it.  I've been having the "blah's" at times, thinking about my physical condition and wondering what to do about it.  Oh sure, I "know" what to "do" about it.  But to actually implement that into my daily routine, and enjoy doing it, and maintain it for very long, that is the ticket.  The ticket that I do not have, and can't seem to acquire.

   Look at the picture (above/left).  It's a "selfie".. well kinda.  It's a picture of my open shirt button.  See, a friend bought this shirt for me recently.  It was a good deal.  And I thought it was my size.  Turns out that in some styles of clothing, I'm no longer an "XL".  I guess that I've graduated into an "XXL."  Stretch shirts, those with elastic and no buttons, seem to fit me better.  I sorta gradually became comfortable in and with that, and began to forget about the ramifications of this occurrence.

   I've somehow grown to believe that because I play basketball once or twice a week, and often take walks, and "I don't look as bad as him", [see pic @ right] that I am physically "fit" or healthy.  The fact of the matter is :  I'm not.   I'm not ready to die of a heart attack or stroke just yet.  But I'm facing the facts : sometimes I'm just not up to the challenge of getting myself fit.  I'd like for my waist size to begin with a "3" again.  I'd like to get rid of the "belly rolls" and not feel challenged when I tie my shoes or bend over to pick something up off the floor.

  OK : here's the real deal :  I'm going to divulge to the entire world the private problems that I'm faced with..  I weighed in last night at 275.   I got up to 292 lbs., and when I saw myself face-to-face with being a 300-pounder, and being able to wear my dad's 3X and 4X shirts, it got a bit scary.  And I determined that I was not going to approach that mark.  So I went down to 270, and was heading, I thought, to 250.  Then the holidays laughed in my face, and I'm back up to 275. 

  But here's my pledge to myself, first, and to all of you listeners (yes, all three of you!). I'm going to win this battle.  It may take a while, but here's my goal :  I'm going to get myself down to my "playing weight", (ha) -as if I were a real athlete- I want to be under 200 lbs. again.  It will not happen overnight.  It will take months and months of effort.   But what I do promise to myself is that I will see results each and every day and week along the way.   

   Thank God the ice cream parlor five blocks from my house moved.  It's now an auto parts store.  So I appreciate the fact that when I'm walking by there, if I get hungry and have an urge, it won't be satisfied by a spark plug or a radiator.  Yes- I know- that doesn't mean that food won't be available, it will still be as close as my refrigerator, but I don't have to give in to it anymore.

   I saw an article today about how that "high fructose corn syrup" is in almost everything that we buy, certainly everything that is in fast food restaurants and canned goods.  I guess it tastes good, because I've never complained about it being there.  But I've begun to understand that some things are there but are unhealthy for us, and whoever is making the stuff is not taking the time to tell us about it, and certainly not willing to remove it.

   I went to a few health seminars lately.   I was about like the smoker whose doctor told him to quit, so he came to a decision : one to stop.. going to doctors.   But recently, the point has begun to hit home.  Right now, I'm sorta "in the middle" :  I'm eating some good things, I've begun "juicing", that is blending up fruits and veggies in a processor, and drinking the amalgamated result.   It's actually good :  apples, pineapple, oranges, strawberries, carrots, even beets.. all blended  into a wonderfully healthy drink. But sad to say, I'm still doing the "dollar menus" at local fast food restaurants, often it's not the healthy way, but the "cheap and easy" way out.

   Say a prayer for me.  I need some help to accomplish this goal.  If you are around, consider becoming my walking or work-out partner.  I need some encouragement.  Let's play some basketball, or take a five-mile walk, or at least watch an exercise video while we eat dessert. (!)

   HERE'S TO HEALTH & FITNESS!  Mine.. and yours.